S is for Social Connections!

Social connections are absolutely vital to our mental wellbeing. 

Connecting with others is the arguably greatest way to build our mental health. Spending time with others and enjoying the time together satisfies our need to feel that we are valued, listened to, cherished, empowered and worthwhile.

Having a wide range of social connections in different settings is critical. Making new connections is easier when we are younger, but the older we get the harder it is to make new friends, so we need to either make an effort to keep in touch with our current connections, or go out of our way to try and make some new connections by trying new activities.

If we have no sense of belonging to other people, we can begin to feel isolated and lonely, which is very damaging to our mental health, and we may struggle to feel like we have a purpose in life.

We feel so much better when we are in social networks that offer us support, trust, cooperation and enjoyment. We have a sense of belonging and community with those around us, and this builds our positive emotions. 

Communication and connection are different.

When you talk to someone on Facebook or by text, do you feel like you are truly connecting with them? I know I don't. Social connection involves contact and feelings. The physical elements of social connections are subtle, yet powerful. 

Hearing a voice and using your own voice, laughter, physical contact, smell, and the sense of activity, belonging and excitement. These are all left out of digital communication such as text, email or Facebook.

Living in the digital world and relying too heavily on our phones and computers for communication can fool us into thinking that we are connecting well with others, when in reality we are not.

This isn't to say that we shouldn't use social media and digital communications of course, as they are incredibly useful tools, but we need to make sure that we are maintaining and taking care of our real life connections, not just our digital ones.

Exercises and activities to try:

Reach out - We don't often go visit people just to chat these days, because it's easier to just pick up the phone instead. Make an effort to visit a relative or friend and have a long conversation with them over tea or coffee. 

This simple gesture is great for strengthening connections, as it shows that you really care about them. This is an especially important thing to do with elderly relatives as they are often very susceptible to loneliness, so showing them that you care can mean the world to them. 

Don't get left out - This is a hilarious game, but requires a lot of space. The more players, the more fun it is! One person is in charge of the group, and is also the DJ for the game. When the DJ plays the music, everyone must walk round the circle, but when they stop the music, they will shout a number, and the group must gather into teams of that number. 

For example, in a group of 12, when the music stops, the DJ could shout 5, and 2 groups of 5 would assemble with 2 people left out. The people who don't make it into a group in time are put out, and the next round begins, repeating until only 2 people are left at the end. Then you would shout 12, and everyone would come up for a giant group hug!

The purpose of this is to show how good it feels to be part of a group, to feel that sense of belonging. but that exclusion is sometimes a negative consequence when there are clearly defined groups. This is why it is important to do the final group hug with everyone to communicate that we should be accepting of everyone.