The Happiness Formula!

One of the key foundations for the Lifemaps model is Positive Psychology, and the Happiness Formula. This is a scientific formula that shows how a large portion of our positive mental health is built through our actions, skills and attitudes, and fostered through our relationships with others.

The formula is Happiness (H) = S + C + V.

S = Your genetic Set Point. Different people have different emotional set points; some may be more naturally pessimistic whereas others will have a more positive natural outlook. Significant life events, whether good or bad, will alter this drastically, but we will generally return to this emotional set point after time, and this accounts for about 50% of our happiness.

C = The Circumstances in your life. Some of our circumstances can change, like getting losing a job, moving house, getting married, bereavement etc. And of course there are circumstances beyond our control, like age, sex etc. These circumstances may feel like they have a massive impact, but in reality they only add 10% towards our happiness.

Many people think that if your circumstances aren't good, then you can't be happy. "If I had more money, or a better car, or a bigger house, then I'll be happy." This is untrue - these are rewards, and rewards don't sustain happiness in the long term. The best way to build sustainable happiness is through our everyday actions, behaviours and attitudes, which leads us to...

V = the Voluntary Actions that we take on a regular basis. This is entirely within our control - some people choose to do nothing, or choose behaviours that are bad for them. But we can also choose to build healthy behaviours by engaging in positive activities, looking at life with a better attitude, and taking actions to build our mental health. These voluntary actions contribute 40% to our happiness, making this the largest portion of our happiness that we can control.

Like physical fitness, we can't just read a book about mental health and expect our wellbeing to be boosted; we must develop skills, thoughts and actions to help our mental health and wellbeing flourish.

So there you have it! Your happiness is much more within your control than you realise, it is up to you to take action to build the positive behaviours and actions that will make the difference. Here is an excellent article on the science of happiness, and we hope this inspires you to take some voluntary actions to help improve your happiness level!

S is for Social Connections!

Social connections are absolutely vital to our mental wellbeing. 

Connecting with others is the arguably greatest way to build our mental health. Spending time with others and enjoying the time together satisfies our need to feel that we are valued, listened to, cherished, empowered and worthwhile.

Having a wide range of social connections in different settings is critical. Making new connections is easier when we are younger, but the older we get the harder it is to make new friends, so we need to either make an effort to keep in touch with our current connections, or go out of our way to try and make some new connections by trying new activities.

If we have no sense of belonging to other people, we can begin to feel isolated and lonely, which is very damaging to our mental health, and we may struggle to feel like we have a purpose in life.

We feel so much better when we are in social networks that offer us support, trust, cooperation and enjoyment. We have a sense of belonging and community with those around us, and this builds our positive emotions. 

Communication and connection are different.

When you talk to someone on Facebook or by text, do you feel like you are truly connecting with them? I know I don't. Social connection involves contact and feelings. The physical elements of social connections are subtle, yet powerful. 

Hearing a voice and using your own voice, laughter, physical contact, smell, and the sense of activity, belonging and excitement. These are all left out of digital communication such as text, email or Facebook.

Living in the digital world and relying too heavily on our phones and computers for communication can fool us into thinking that we are connecting well with others, when in reality we are not.

This isn't to say that we shouldn't use social media and digital communications of course, as they are incredibly useful tools, but we need to make sure that we are maintaining and taking care of our real life connections, not just our digital ones.

Exercises and activities to try:

Reach out - We don't often go visit people just to chat these days, because it's easier to just pick up the phone instead. Make an effort to visit a relative or friend and have a long conversation with them over tea or coffee. 

This simple gesture is great for strengthening connections, as it shows that you really care about them. This is an especially important thing to do with elderly relatives as they are often very susceptible to loneliness, so showing them that you care can mean the world to them. 

Don't get left out - This is a hilarious game, but requires a lot of space. The more players, the more fun it is! One person is in charge of the group, and is also the DJ for the game. When the DJ plays the music, everyone must walk round the circle, but when they stop the music, they will shout a number, and the group must gather into teams of that number. 

For example, in a group of 12, when the music stops, the DJ could shout 5, and 2 groups of 5 would assemble with 2 people left out. The people who don't make it into a group in time are put out, and the next round begins, repeating until only 2 people are left at the end. Then you would shout 12, and everyone would come up for a giant group hug!

The purpose of this is to show how good it feels to be part of a group, to feel that sense of belonging. but that exclusion is sometimes a negative consequence when there are clearly defined groups. This is why it is important to do the final group hug with everyone to communicate that we should be accepting of everyone.