P is for Purpose!

Having a clear sense of purpose adds to our feeling of wellbeing and fulfillment.

Feeling purposeless can weigh very heavily on our mental health and sense of worth, but when we feel that we have something to give to others, we are more engaged with the world outside ourselves and find it a little easier to navigate our way through life, as we have a direction to follow.

Our feeling of purpose is most clear when we have goals that improve the lives of others, rather than ourselves. When our purpose is about self promotion, we might have a clear personal goal of fame and fortune, but this goal doesn't feed our desires. Instead, the more we get, the more we want, and we never feel satisfied.

Purpose doesn't mean going out and trying to save the world (unless you want to!) 

Purpose doesn't have to mean something spiritual or philosophical, it can just mean doing something that isn't self serving, and that can help someone other than ourselves. 

Being an active citizen in your community, being supportive to your friends and family, being good at your job, starting a business, creating art or music, helping those less fortunate; these are all purposes. If we feel that we have something to contribute to the wider world, even in just a small way, it will make us feel good. 

Exercises and activities to try:

Signature strengths: Our purpose is driven by our signature strengths; the things that we excel at. If we are good at creating music, we can record and release the music online for others to enjoy. If we are a good listener, we can offer to listen to someone who is going through personal problems, 

Have a go at this questionnaire to find your strengths  and have a think about how you can use them to find your purpose!  https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/questionnaires/survey-character-strengths

Life triangle: This is an exercise to help you find your purpose by establishing life goals in a simple way. You will need 15 post it notes and a wall. Take the first 5 notes and write down 1 strength or asset that you currently have on each. Then stick them all in a row on the wall. This is the bottom line of your triangle. 

Next, write down 4 goals that you would like to achieve in 6 months time. Use your strengths and assets to help you think of these goals. Stick these in a row above your first 5 notes. Then for the next row, think of 3 goals you would like to achieve in a year's time. then 2 goals on the next 2 for 2 to 3 years time, and finally the last 1, which is 1 goal for the next 5 years. 

This is a really simple but effective way to help us think a little clearer about the future and our purpose, and how to build on the strengths that we currently have rather than focusing on the weaknesses. 

A is for Accomplishments!

Accomplishment, recognition, and achievement are all ways of boosting self esteem. 

We feel good when we accomplish a goal that we have set for ourselves. Research shows that our mental health improves with accomplishments - as we feel pride, we have a sense of purpose in the world, and we have uncovered or nurtured a personal strength.

The size of the accomplishment is irrelevant; the important part is what it means to us. Accomplishments are relative; they must be relevant to us personally to be able to build our self esteem. We need to take our abilities into account when measuring our accomplishments - measuring everyone in the same way is harmful to some people's mental health, as they feel inadequate compared to others.

Think of it like physical fitness - someone who runs 5 miles every day would think nothing of running for 20 minutes. But for someone who has not exercised in several months, this would be a huge accomplishment!

Similarly, something like getting up and going out the door in the morning may seem like nothing to people with good mental health, but for someone with a mental illness like depression or anxiety, this is a massive accomplishment because that illness is working against them.

Changing our perspective on what accomplishment means is key to recognising the progress that we are making for ourselves.

Accomplishment in life is not about winning or losing, or passing or failing - it is about learning and growing. Every single experience that we have, regardless of the final outcome, teaches us something and helps us to grow as a person.

Many goals that we set for ourselves (or that other people set for us) are toxic to our mental health, because quite often these goals are only concerned with the end result.

This isn't to say that big accomplishments and good end results aren't great, because they definitely are, but there are so many small accomplishments and improvements that happen along the way that build our abilities, skills and strengths, so limiting the measure of our success to the end result undermines the journey that we make during an experience.

When we recognise those smaller accomplishments along the way, and how much those accomplishments help us to grow, this makes things feel more worthwhile and actually help us to succeed more as we strive to keep that chain of small accomplishments going, and this paves the way to bigger accomplishments.

Exercises and activities to try:

Track your accomplishments: Start to list your accomplishments for yourself  - you can do this in a diary, on your calendar or in a notebook. Each day, write down something that you accomplished. It can be anything that feels like you achieved something, whether it is small or big; waking up on time, handing in an assignment, running a marathon!.

Anything that you feel good about from your day, write it down! This helps you to see that you are accomplishing small things every day, and shows you that you are growing as a person. Being able to write down several accomplishments in a day feels great, and this encourages you to keep going and strive to accomplish more!

A gift for the week: This is a great activity to try with your family or friends.  Gather everyone together in a circle and give everyone an envelope to write their name on. Then give everyone 7 pieces of paper. Everyone passes the envelopes around the circle, and for each envelope you get, you put in a positive message for the person who owns the envelope about something they have accomplished, or that they should be proud of.

The ideal number of people for this activity is 8, but it can work with fewer people, you just have to put more than 1 message in each envelope. The aim is for each person to get their own envelope back with 7 positive messages in it, and they can go away and read one note per day. This can highlight accomplishments that we didn't notice ourselves, and also bring us a renewed sense of pride from the accomplishments that are written down!

M is for Mindfulness!

How often do we actually take the time to notice that things are going well, or to appreciate the good things in our lives?

Not as often as we should! Our lives are so fast paced that we don't give our minds enough time to properly experience and acknowledge the positive things that are going on in our lives.

The human brain has a "negativity bias" - a tendency to focus on negative experiences, and minimise the positives. So if we are moving so fast that we don't notice any positives in life, then we will only ever see the negatives!

This gives us a distorted perspective on life, and this can have a bad effect on our mental health. By slowing down and noticing the positive moments and events in our lives, we develop a more balanced and realistic viewpoint of life.

Mindfulness is about tuning into what is happening around us in a conscious way; by 'savouring the moment'.

Savouring the moment can intensify our enjoyment of experiences, and help reinforce the positive aspects of that experience. 

It is about noticing the small, simple things in our daily life that make life good - watching a favourite show, eating food, smelling nice flowers, having fun with your friends.This means slowing our mind down so that we can pay full attention to the good things in life.

Mindfulness is also about finding the balance between the past, present and future.

Always looking to the past, or dreaming of the future can mean that we forget about the here and now, and that leaves us feeling stuck in one place. 

Finding that balance means changing our perspective on things, so that we can reflect on the past positively while having realistic hopes for the future, but remaining fully in the present and building a path to follow for ourselves.

Exercises and activities to try:

Savour the moment - Try being mindful during an activity in your day. A perfect time to try this is while eating your dinner, but you can do it during any activity. There are 5 key steps to fully savouring something:

1. Slow down
2. Pay attention to what you are doing
3. Use all your senses
4. Stretch out the experience
5. Reflect on your enjoyment

If you try this while eating your dinner, you find that you actually pay attention to your food, how it tastes, feels, and smells, how much you enjoy the meal, and you feel more satisfied afterwards because you ate more slowly and savoured every bite. This brings a positive experience to something that we usually don't think twice about!

Guided mindfulness - Have a look on YouTube for a 5 minute guided mindfulness video - these are great as an introduction to the world of mindfulness. The focus is on relaxing, breathing deeply and feeling present, and even after 5 minutes you will find yourself feeling more relaxed and mindful!. Give it a go and see how you feel! Here's a link to one to try: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEzbdLn2bJc

Lifemaps session feedback - Young Farmers Clubs of Ulster

Last Thursday we had an excellent training session with some members of the Young Farmers Clubs of Ulster. We got some great feedback from the participants, so here's what they had to say!

What do you now know about mental health and well being?

• It’s all about your attitude and how you look at things. It’s very important
• Everyone has mental health. Some have better health than others
• That ‘mental health’ is not a closed name – there are many different aspects to mental health
• It’s about the big picture - it isn't just something negative, it’s positive too
• I know how to look after my mental health better and how to be positive. There’s a lot more to mental health than people know, and it needs to be taught
• Mental health is just as much about the positive things in life as the negative
• How important it is to recognise the part that we play in supporting each other in protecting our mental health
• Everyone has mental health, whether it’s good or bad
• There’s more to mental health than associated illness

Do you feel you are more motivated about life, learning and work?

• You learn more when working / while you do your dream job
• I feel it was good to break the cycle of everyday life and think about things. It’s good to laugh with others
• Yes, I feel this has helped me greatly allowing me to look at life better and that tomorrow will be a good day regardless what happens
• Yes, I feel I’m a more positive person now and as a student nurse I feel I can pass this on to my patients
• Yes, it’s important to be mindful and confident and motivated
• Yes, I enjoyed the activities and interaction

What practical things can you do to improve your mental health and well-being?

• Be focused and be inspired for the future
• Playing games and getting a laugh out of them
• Think about 3 positive things before bed
• Be happy and don’t stress about things too much
• Stay connected and try more social activities
• Do positive things like helping others
• Just wake up in the morning thinking “it’s to be a good day” and enjoy every minute of life. Life is too short
• Take time out to think about positive things that have happened to me 
• Always think positive and look for the good things in life. Don’t dwell on the bad
• Do activities to make everyone happy
• Exercise, sports, meeting folk, volunteering, trying new things
• Talk more, be confident with mindset, help and encourage others
• Be active – walking, music, friends etc

How can you support others to improve their mental health and well-being?

• Help people to be confident about what they’re doing
• Listen and give compliments. Care about others
• Be there. Be supportive. Listen. Help others laugh
• Just talk to them, spend time with them when needed and smile
• I can offer to listen when someone is having a problem and also give them advice on where to get help
• Be positive. Be friendly and supportive. Listen 
• Be positive, be a good role model, make time for them, listen to what they say, be mindful
• Help them, listen, talk to them, get out and about and meet new people

Any other comments about LIFEMAPS:

• Enjoyed it and learned something different
• Great night, great atmosphere
• Brilliant speakers
• Very good youth workers
• Very enjoyable and a lot of fun
• Great concept

We're really pleased with this feedback! If you are interested in attending any of the Lifemaps events, please like our Facebook for updates of what's happening near you or send an email to amypollock@youthaction.com!

E is for Emotions!

Everyone experiences both positive and negative emotions - that is a fact of life.

When we feel negative emotions like anxiety, anger or fear, we try to find ways to cope with them, and we often bottle them up as a coping mechanism. This is harmful to our mental health because it usually causes those emotions to fester and become worse.

It is important to realise that dealing with those emotions directly is the best way to overcome them. Rather than burying them, we should address them head on and try to find the root of that emotion so we can deal with it. This helps us to build vital coping skills and helps us to be more open about when we feel negatively about something.

The more positive emotions we feel, the better we are able to function.

Research shows that the more positive emotions we have, the more we can think creatively, overcome barriers, and recover more easily from shocks and hard times. 

Positive emotions aren't just about feeling happy all the time. We have the capacity to feel a massive range of positive emotions, like joy, interest, serenity, hope, gratitude, kindness, surprise, confidence, enthusiasm, satisfaction, pride, inspiration, awe and love.

These positive emotions do more than make us feel better, they actually help to boost our ability to work and study, and improves our physical health and relationships!

To build our mental wellbeing, we need more positive emotions that negative ones. 

Research has shown that for every one negative feeling we have, we need 3 positive ones to balance it out and make us feel positively. For example, if one person insults you, and one other person compliments you, you are more likely to remember the insult. But if 3 people were to compliment you, that would balance out that one insult and help you feel positive again.

We can build our range of positive emotions, not by forcing positivity or pretending to be happy, but by being open to new people, experiences, challenges, ideas and thoughts, and by being open to reviewing old ideas and experiences to change how we feel about them.

Exercises and activities to try:

Identify your emotions - Take a page and draw a line down the middle. On one side, make a list of all the positive emotions that you feel have experienced recently, and on the other side make a list of the negative emotions. Circle each one of the negative emotions, and then circle groups of 3 of the positive ones, and draw a line from each one negative to a group of 3 positives.

This activity can be useful to help us understand the feelings that we feel on a regular basis, and to help us establish if our positive and negative emotions are balancing out. If we find that they are balanced then that's great, but if not then we may need to look at ways to either deal with our negative emotions to reduce them, or to find some activities to help build new positive emotions.

Positivity treasure chest - Grab a box and go treasure hunting in your house. Look for things that bring you positive emotions, and that remind you of positive experiences in your life.

This could include photos or souvenirs from great times, awards that remind you of accomplishments, cards or notes from special people in your life, something you made or drew, your favourite inspiration quotes or song lyrics, childhood mementos, a gift that you treasure, and photos of someone you look up to.

Having all of these things that bring us a wide range of positive emotions in one place can be a great way to help us feel better when we have a bad day, or when we experience hard times. Keep this box in your room somewhere, under your bed or in your wardrobe, and revisit it regularly to give yourself a boost of positivity. And don't forget to add to it regularly!